Clear’s core idea is deceptively simple and powerful: you don’t rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems. Meaning, implementing habits is not about willpower or some massive life overhaul. It’s about tiny, almost boring changes that compound over time.

Since then, I’ve applied that method every time I wanted to break a bad habit or build a new one into my routine. Over the years, I’ve learned to recognize what actually makes me feel good, what makes me happier and less anxious (in case I’ve never mentioned it, I’m a massive overthinker and I deal with anxiety, so having a structured routine with solid habits is not a luxury for me, it’s essential).

So here are the ten small habits that had a huge impact in my life.

1. Creating a routine that fits my actual life

With social media, we’ve gotten used to seeing these “perfect” routines, planned down to the minute. You watch someone’s 5AM morning routine and suddenly your life feels like a complete mess because you can’t fit 50 billion activities into your day. So you fall into this cycle of guilt and procrastination: you try to copy someone else’s schedule, it doesn’t stick, you feel like a failure, and you give up.

What worked for me was finding a routine that makes sense for my life and adapts to my schedule. Once I understood that, and that no, I didn’t need to wake up at 5AM to be productive, everything became simpler. My routine isn’t Instagram-worthy. Some mornings are messy. But it works for me, and that’s the only thing that matters.

2. Having go-to meals during the week

One of the biggest mistakes I see from people who want to eat better is not planning their meals ahead. They start the week with the best intentions and by Wednesday they’re ordering takeout because they opened the fridge and had no idea what to make. The mental load of deciding what to eat three times a day, every single day, is exhausting. And when you add hitting your macros on top of that, it can feel overwhelming fast.

I don’t plan every single meal for the week, but I have a really good idea of everything I need to quickly put together a meal that hits my macros and is reasonably healthy. I also eat more or less the same foods every day, just prepared differently to keep things interesting. Chicken might be grilled on Monday, stir-fried on Wednesday, and in a wrap on Friday. Same base, different flavors. This helps enormously and removes so much of that mental load of having to figure out what to eat every single day.

3. Running

I started running seriously about two years ago. Before that, I’d go for a jog once in a while, a few minutes here and there. Nothing consistent. But when I decided I actually wanted to commit to this sport, I started following a structured program, and it reconciled me with the part of myself that never thought she was capable.

You don’t need to run two or three times a week, and you don’t need to run long distances either.

But running is one of the best exercises to improve your VO2 max, your endurance, and your cardiovascular health. In case you’re asking, VO2 max is essentially the maximum amount of oxygen your body can use during exercise, and research shows it’s one of the strongest predictors of long-term health and longevity. Running, even at moderate intensity, is one of the most effective ways to improve it over time.

Since I started running, I feel fitter than ever, and mentally, it gives me so much resilience and clarity.

4. Walking without any distractions

Going for a walk without distractions has had a profoundly positive effect on my focus and mental clarity. These days, we all struggle to do anything without some kind of input (music, a podcast, a YouTube video playing in the background). We’ve trained our brains to need constant stimulation, and the idea of just being alone with our thoughts feels almost uncomfortable.

But that discomfort is exactly where the good stuff happens.

I noticed that spending time in silence, with just my thoughts and the ambient sounds around me, calms me down and helps me organize my ideas so much better. Even my creativity got a boost from this practice. Some of my best ideas came during those quiet walks. No earbuds. No scrolling. Just me and whatever my brain needed to process.

5. Writing notes on paper

I know we have a million apps today that are supposed to help us organize our lives, make us more productive, save time... but the tool that actually worked for me was pen and paper.

When you write on paper, you slow down. You actually think about what you’re writing and you put intention into the words. There’s something about the physical act of writing that forces your brain to process information differently than typing on a screen. I use the Bullet Journal method, a system created by Ryder Carroll that’s basically a customizable organizational tool disguised as a notebook. You track tasks, events, and notes using rapid logging (short bullet points with specific symbols), and you regularly review and migrate items so nothing important falls through the cracks. It keeps you intentional about where your time and energy go.

And no, you don’t need some fancy notebook, and you definitely don’t need to create all those gorgeous spreads you see on social media. Just a simple notebook and a pen. That’s it. Ryder Carroll explains how to start a bullet journal in the simplest way possible on his YouTube channel.

6. Including a source of protein in every meal

As soon as I started taking my strength training seriously, I understood how important protein is for building muscle. But it goes way beyond that. Protein plays a critical role in our overall health, especially for women.

As we age, we naturally lose muscle mass, and adequate protein intake is essential to slow that down. Protein also supports bone density, hormonal balance, immune function, and satiety, meaning it helps you feel full longer and reduces cravings. For women going through perimenopause and menopause, getting enough protein becomes even more important to maintain muscle, protect bone health, and support metabolism.

My friends often ask me how I manage to eat so much protein. But honestly, if you simply add a source of protein to every meal, you’ll easily hit around 100 grams per day (which I consider the minimum, especially for women who train). Eggs at breakfast, chicken or fish at lunch, Greek yogurt as a snack, some meat at dinner. It’s not as complicated as it sounds once you build the habit.

7. Taking time to actually rest

Time to truly rest, without scrolling on social media, without using my free time to “produce” something.

We live in this era of optimization where everything has to be maximized, including our downtime. You see people turning their rest days into active recovery, their evenings into side hustle time, and their weekends into productivity marathons. Even relaxation has become something we feel we need to do “right”. Rest has become just another task on the to-do list, and that completely defeats the purpose.

I had to learn that doing nothing is not lazy. It’s necessary. Sometimes rest looks like lying on the couch staring at the ceiling. Sometimes it’s a nap in the middle of the afternoon. And that’s okay. Your body and your mind need that downtime to recover, and no amount of optimized routines can replace it.

8. Reading only what I actually want to read

This one might sound a little controversial, but I barely read non-fiction (or I do very rarely, when a subject really interests me). If you looked at my Kindle, you’d find maybe four or five non-fiction books and a whole library of fiction, especially fantasy.

Reading for me is leisure. It’s an escape from reality. Sitting on my couch with a coffee and whatever book I’m into is a genuine moment of relaxation, and sorry, but I cannot relax reading a technical book or non-fiction.

Understanding that lifted a weight off my shoulders, because there was a time when I forced myself to read things just because people said I should, or because it was “unimaginable” not to have read this or that author. That completely ruined the joy of reading for me. Also, as someone who did academic research for a few years, trust me, I’ve had to read plenty of things I didn’t want to read. So I will never again force myself through a book I’m not enjoying.

9. Moving my body every day

Not necessarily going to the gym every day, but simply doing some kind of activity that gets my body moving. It does wonders for me, especially mentally.

We live incredibly sedentary lifestyles these days. Most of us spend hours sitting at a desk, then sitting in a car, then sitting on a couch. Our bodies were designed to move, and when we don’t, everything suffers: energy levels, mood, sleep quality, even cognitive function.

Research consistently shows that prolonged sitting is associated with increased risks of cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, and mental health issues, regardless of whether you exercise. That means even if you crush it at the gym for an hour, sitting for the remaining fifteen hours of your day still takes a toll.

A good way to check if you’re too sedentary is to look at the step counter on your smartwatch if you have one, or even on your phone, though that’s less accurate. If you’re doing less than 7,000 steps a day, you’re not moving much.

10. Limiting my time on social media

Yes, I know, this is the topic of the moment. “How to reduce your screen time,” “why I quit social media,” and all that.

Even though it might feel like just another TikTok trend, the truth is that a lot of people spend hours scrolling through social media. Hours they could spend reading a book, resting, going for a walk in nature, having a quality moment with someone they love.

I realized I was addicted to Instagram last year. My screen time was eight hours a day on my phone, and about four of those eight hours were spent on Instagram. But you know what’s worse? It was having a massive impact on my anxiety and I couldn’t even see it.

My friend talked about that in her newsletter and I reeeeally recommend reading her article:

The Tiny Apple 🍎

I'm tired of social media: why I'm redefining my digital life

In May, I posted about deleting my Instagram for a few days and how that made me feel good. I reflected on how I had underestimated the app's impact on my mental health and productivity to the point that it felt wrong to go back. I remember saying I needed a plan—I didn't want to spend the same amount of time I was spending before…

Read more

a year ago · 27 likes · 8 comments · Laura Peruchi

It was only when I managed to break out of that cycle that I realized how much damage it was doing. I still have Instagram accounts, after all, I’m a photographer and Instagram is a great showcase for my work. But I’ve learned to treat it as exactly that: work. I go on Instagram only when I need to post something related to my work, and from time to time I allow myself to scroll a bit, but I usually do it on desktop, where the experience isn’t the same, so I scroll for ten minutes and that’s it.

I don’t spend much time on Substack either. I schedule all my Notes in advance and pop into the app a few times a day to reply to comments, interact with people I enjoy following, and that’s all. If I want to read an article, I save it to read later, on my computer.

Wait, one more

I said I’d share ten habits, but here’s one more.

✨ Enjoying all the foods I love, with moderation ✨

If you’ve been reading never not hungry for a while, you know my story. Years of restrictive eating, of counting every calorie with fear instead of intention, of telling myself that certain foods were “bad” and that eating them made me bad too. I spent too long fighting against my own hunger instead of listening to it.

Today, I eat what I love, without guilt, and with moderation. My diet is healthy most of the time, and when I feel like it, I also eat things that aren’t exactly “clean.” Because that’s what balance actually looks like. Knowing how to make good choices most of the time and giving yourself permission to enjoy life the rest of the time. That balance has removed so much mental load.

I don’t spend energy agonizing over whether I should or shouldn’t eat something. I just eat, enjoy, and move on. And my relationship with food has never been healthier.

These habits didn’t change my life overnight. None of them are glamorous or revolutionary. They’re small, quiet shifts that compounded into something bigger than I ever expected.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you don’t need to overhaul everything at once. Pick one thing, the smallest one. The one that feels almost too easy. Start there.

Thanks for reading and see you in the next one 🌸🌙

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So I downloaded an app called Runna (highly recommend btw), picked a 10K training plan, and just... started. Twelve weeks later, I crossed that 10K finish line and something clicked. I was hooked. Overnight, running became my whole personality. I wanted to run faster, run farther, hit a sub-20 minute 5K, sign up for a half marathon. If I wasn’t running, I was thinking about running.

The thing is, I was also lifting five days a week. Heavy lower body sessions, high volume for glutes and hamstrings, the full program. And I refused to cut back on any of it. In my head, I could do both at full intensity and somehow my body would just... figure it out.

It did not figure it out.

What I got instead was burnout. Pure and simple. My runs started feeling like a chore, my lifts felt flat, and I was too tired to enjoy either one. I had gone from loving both activities to dreading every session.

In this article, I want to share everything I’ve learned about making strength training and running work together. Not in a “do everything perfectly” kind of way, but in a real, sustainable way that lets you enjoy both without running yourself into the ground. Whether you’re a lifter who wants to start running, a runner who wants to build muscle, or someone trying to figure out how to balance both, this one’s for you.

If you're a ✨ Sleep Token girlie ✨ here's the playlist I listen to when I run:

Will running ruin my progress?

Let’s get this one out of the way because it’s probably the most repeated myth in the fitness world. You’ve seen it on social media, you’ve heard it from that guy at the gym who only does bench press.

The short answer is no. Cardio does not ruin your progress. But the long answer is a bit more nuanced than that.

You absolutely can build muscle and run at the same time. Plenty of people do. The catch is that you need to be smart about it, and you need to be honest with yourself about your priorities. You can’t train for a marathon and expect to put on a ton of muscle at the same time. That’s just not how the body works. The energy demands, the recovery needs, the type of training required — they pull in different directions when you push both to the extreme.

The key word here is extreme. If your goal is to run a few times a week while building strength, that’s very doable. If your goal is to qualify for Boston while also maxing out your squat, you’re going to have a rough time.

It took me a while to figure this out. I was so obsessed with improving my pace and my distance that running stopped being fun. Every session felt like something I had to do, not something I wanted to do. All the joy I had found in this new sport was gone.

I had to step back and ask myself what I actually wanted. And the answer was clear. My main goal has always been (and still is) to build muscle and get stronger. Running, for me, is a form of more intense cardio and a sport that challenges me and brings me real physical and mental well being. Once I accepted that, everything became easier. I stopped trying to optimize both at 100% and started looking for balance instead.

How to structure your training based on your goal

This is where it gets practical. The way you organize your week matters a lot when you’re doing both. You can’t just throw runs on top of your lifting program and hope for the best. Trust me, I tried.

The most important thing to consider is recovery. Your legs need time to bounce back between a heavy lifting session and a long run. If you schedule a 10K the day after a brutal leg day, your performance will suffer on both ends. Spacing things out and being intentional about what goes where makes a huge difference.

How I currently structure my week

This month I got back into running more seriously. I'll be honest, during winter I have zero motivation to run outside and I absolutely hate the treadmill. But spring is here, and I signed up for a 10K race in June. It's a distance I'm comfortable with, but I want to beat my last PR of 55 minutes and bring it down to 50. Ambitious? Yes. But setting goals like that is what keeps me going.

Right now, my weekly split looks like this:

• Monday — glutes & hamstrings

• Tuesday — chest, shoulders & triceps

• Wednesday — long run

• Thursday — back, lats & biceps

• Friday — quads & glutes

• Saturday — easy run

• Sunday — rest

I know, it looks like a lot. But here’s the thing, my lifting volume is not that high right now. I generally do 3 sets of 8-10 reps for the big compound lifts (hip thrust, squat, RDL, leg press, lunges) and 2 sets of 10-12 reps for unilateral and accessory exercises (step-ups, kickbacks, abduction). I also cap each session at 5 exercises max. For someone who’s been training consistently for 5 years, this is a manageable volume that still drives progress without leaving me wrecked for my runs.

Notice how my long run falls on Wednesday. That gives my legs a full day to recover after Monday’s session before hitting the pavement. As my Saturday runs are usually short, I feel fine training my quads the day before.

What I’d recommend if you’re just starting out

If you’re newer to training and want to integrate running into your routine, I wouldn’t jump straight into a 6-day split. Instead, I’d scale things back and build a foundation that lets you progress in both without overloading your body.

Here’s what I’d do:

• Monday — full leg day

• Tuesday — full upper body

• Wednesday — easy run

• Thursday — full leg day

• Friday — rest

• Saturday — long run

• Sunday — rest

A few things to notice here. You're still hitting legs twice a week, which is important for building strength and muscle. Strong legs also make you a better runner, so it's a win on both sides. And you get two full rest days, which is crucial when your body is adapting to a new stimulus.

If three strength sessions feel like too much, start with two — one full leg day and one full upper body. Once you feel more comfortable, you can add a second leg day to your week.

For the lifting volume, I’d keep the same structure I mentioned earlier. 3 sets for your big compound movements, 2 sets for unilateral and accessory work. The important part is making sure you’re training with enough intensity to actually challenge your muscles.

A good way to gauge this is by thinking in terms of “reps in reserve,” or RIR. Basically, how many more reps could you have done at the end of a set before reaching failure? Ideally, you want to finish most of your sets with about 2 to 3 reps in reserve. So if you’re doing a set of 10 hip thrusts, the weight should be heavy enough that you could maybe squeeze out 12 or 13, but definitely not 16.

If you're ending every set feeling like you could keep going forever, the weight is too light and you're leaving gains on the table.

A note for experienced runners looking to add strength training

If you’re already training for a half marathon, a marathon, or any longer distance, your running schedule is probably pretty packed. Adding a full lifting program on top of that is a recipe for overtraining.

In this case, I’d honestly recommend working with a coach who can help you find the right balance for your specific situation. The variables become a lot more complex when your running volume is high, and getting it wrong can lead to injury or burnout fast.

One thing I will say though, whatever you do, don’t skip your glute work. This is something I cannot stress enough, especially for runners. Your glutes are the biggest and most powerful muscle group in your body, and they play a massive role in running mechanics.

Strong glutes help stabilize your pelvis, protect your knees, improve your stride efficiency, and generate more power with each step. Weak glutes, on the other hand, often lead to knee pain, hip issues, and lower back problems. If you only have time for two strength sessions a week and you run a lot, make sure at least one of them targets your glutes and hamstrings.

A few more things to keep in mind

Nutrition matters more than you think

When you combine lifting and running, your body needs fuel. A lot of it. Running burns a significant amount of calories, and if you want to maintain or build muscle on top of that, you need to eat accordingly. This is not the time to be in a caloric deficit or skipping meals. If anything, you’ll probably need to eat more than you think, especially on days when you run. Prioritize protein to support muscle recovery and don’t be afraid of carbs. They’re your best friend when it comes to fueling your runs.

I wrote an articles where I break down the basics of nutrition and explain the strategies that worked for me.

What science says about concurrent training

There’s a concept in exercise science called the “interference effect,” which basically suggests that combining endurance and strength training can blunt the results of one or both. And there’s some truth to it. Research shows that when you do a lot of high-intensity or high-volume cardio, it can interfere with the muscle-building signals your body sends after a strength session.

But here’s the nuance: the interference effect is most significant when both types of training are done at very high volumes. For most of us who are lifting and running a few times a week, the effect is minimal. Especially if you’re spacing your sessions appropriately, eating enough, and sleeping well.

The benefits go both ways

Running makes you a better lifter, and lifting makes you a better runner. Running improves your cardiovascular base, which means better recovery between sets and more endurance during high-rep work. It’s also incredible for mental health, and I personally find that a good run clears my head like nothing else.

On the flip side, strength training reduces your risk of running injuries, improves your posture and running form, and gives you more power in your stride. There’s a reason why every serious running program includes some form of strength work.

Common mistakes to avoid

The biggest one (and the one I made) is trying to go all-in on both at the same time. You don’t need to run your fastest 5K and hit a squat PR in the same week. Give yourself permission to have seasons where one takes priority over the other.

Other mistakes I see often: not eating enough, skipping rest days because you feel guilty, and ignoring signs of fatigue until they turn into injury. Your body is incredibly good at telling you when something’s off. Listen to it.

It’s about balance, not perfection

If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this, it’s that you don’t have to choose between being strong and being a runner. You can absolutely be both. But you have to let go of the idea that you’ll be the fastest runner and the strongest lifter at the same time.

And honestly? That’s more than okay. The goal is to build a training routine that makes you feel good, that challenges you, and that you can actually sustain in the long run (pun intended).

So if you’re reading this and you’ve been hesitating to add running to your gym routine — or the other way around — consider this your sign. Start slow, be smart about your programming, eat enough food, and give your body the rest it needs. You might surprise yourself with how well the two can work together.

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For a long time, I was living a life I didn’t particularly like, performing a version of myself I didn’t particularly recognize. I was the shy, reserved one, always a little too introverted for the room. And somewhere along the way, I convinced myself that alcohol would fix that. That it would make me more interesting, more relaxed, more fun to be around. That people would like me more if I had a drink in my hand.

There’s also something that always bothers me and that people seem to normalize. The social pressure to drink. Refuse a glass of wine at dinner and watch how people look at you. Suddenly you owe everyone an explanation. You’re either pregnant, in recovery, or being difficult. It’s one of the few substances where not consuming it makes you the odd one out.

So I drank. Not excessively, but consistently enough that it became part of how I coped with awkwardness, with anxiety, with a life I was sleepwalking through.

Then I started strength training and everything shifted.

Not because lifting weights magically cured anything, but because for the first time in a long time, I was building something. I was investing in my body instead of numbing it. I was showing up for myself, consistently, and actually seeing results. And at some point, the cognitive dissonance became too loud to ignore. I was working hard to get stronger, sleeping better, eating with intention, and then undoing a lot of it with alcohol.

It stopped making sense. So I stopped drinking.

What actually changed for me

I won’t pretend quitting alcohol turned my life around overnight. But I will say that it removed a layer of fog I didn’t realize was there.

I started sleeping better. I had more energy on weekends. I stopped dreading Mondays because I’d spent Sunday recovering from Saturday. Small things, but they added up.

Which brings me back to the bigger picture.

I spent years performing a character I thought other people wanted to see. The cool girl, the easy-going one, the one who says yes so she fits in. Alcohol was one of the props I used to keep that character going. When I stopped drinking, there was nowhere to hide. I had to learn to just be myself in rooms, which was uncomfortable, and then liberating.

My life looks pretty different now. I train in the mornings, I’m in bed before 10pm with a book, I spend my weekends taking care of myself and the people I love. No late nights, no recovery days wasted on the couch. Some people would call that boring. And honestly, a few years ago, I probably would have agreed — or at least pretended to.

But here’s what I know now. That quiet, intentional life is exactly what I always wanted. I was just too busy performing someone else to admit it.

Strength training showed me what I was capable of when I showed up consistently. Quitting alcohol showed me who I actually was when I stopped hiding. And somewhere between the two, I found the version of myself I'd been avoiding.

And turns out, I’m actually fine as I am.

What the science says about alcohol

The science on alcohol has shifted significantly, and "everything in moderation" is no longer the reassuring answer it used to be.

In 2023, the World Health Organization published a statement confirming that there is no safe level of alcohol consumption. The risk to your health starts from the first drop of any alcoholic beverage, regardless of how much you drink. This isn’t fringe thinking or fear-mongering. Alcohol has been classified as a Group 1 carcinogen by the International Agency for Research on Cancer, the same category as asbestos and tobacco. It has been linked to at least seven types of cancer, including bowel cancer and female breast cancer.

For those of us who train, there’s more. Alcohol can reduce muscle protein synthesis, lower testosterone levels, raise cortisol (the stress hormone that promotes muscle breakdown), and disrupt sleep. All things that are directly counterproductive to building a stronger body. Research has shown that alcohol can decrease protein synthesis by up to 37% when consumed after a workout, meaning the session you just pushed through is being partially dismantled while you’re at the bar.

And the hangover itself is its own kind of sabotage. The fatigue, the headache, the general inability to do anything useful. That’s not just inconvenient. Those are hours and days where you’re not moving, not recovering well, not showing up for the things you actually care about.

💌 A note on judgment

None of this is a manifesto against drinking. If you enjoy a glass of wine on a Friday night and it doesn’t interfere with how you feel or what you’re building, that’s your business.

But if you’ve ever used alcohol the way I did — as a social crutch, as an escape, as a way to be someone slightly more palatable — it might be worth asking yourself whether it’s actually giving you anything, or just making it easier to avoid the question.

For me, the answer was clear. And I haven’t looked back.

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After five years of consistent training, I've learned that motivation is not what keeps you going. That initial burst of “new year, new me” energy will eventually fade. And if you’re relying on it, you’ll find yourself back on the couch by February, wondering what went wrong.

So this article isn’t about getting motivated. It’s about something way more powerful: falling in love with strength training. Like, actually enjoying it. Looking forward to it. Making it such an integral part of your life that skipping a workout feels weird, not relieving.

Sounds impossible? I thought so too. But it happened to me, and I’m convinced it can happen to you. Let me show you how.

Redefining what strength training is about

For years, I trained with one single goal in mind. To change how I looked. I wanted to be thinner, closer to whatever impossible standard I’d seen in a magazine. And you know what? It never worked. Not because the workouts weren’t effective, but because aesthetic goals are terrible motivators for long-term consistency.

Physical changes take forever. We’re talking months, sometimes years, of consistent effort before you see significant results in the mirror. And when you’re grinding away at the gym week after week with nothing visible to show for it, it’s really hard to stay committed. Your brain starts asking “what’s the point?” and honestly, it’s a fair question.

What really worked for me was shifting my focus entirely. Instead of training to look a certain way, I started training to feel a certain way. And the difference was almost immediate.

Within weeks of consistent strength training, I was sleeping better, my mood improved dramatically, and I had more energy throughout the day. Simple things like carrying groceries or climbing stairs became easier. These weren’t aesthetic changes. They were quality of life changes. And they happened fast enough that my brain could make the connection: gym = feeling good.

When I stopped seeing exercise as a punishment for how I looked and started seeing it as medicine for how I felt, everything shifted. Suddenly, going to the gym wasn’t something I had to force myself to do. It was something I wanted to do, because I knew how good I’d feel after.

And the beautiful irony in all of it is that once I stopped obsessing over aesthetic results, they actually started happening. Turns out, when you’re consistent because you genuinely enjoy training, the physical changes eventually follow.

Get curious about the science

I know learning about the science sounds boring, but this is actually one of the things that made training genuinely interesting to me.

When I first started going to the gym, I had no idea what I was doing. I’d hop on random machines, do some arbitrary number of reps, and call it a day. It felt pointless because, well, it kind of was. I was just going through motions without understanding why.

Then I started getting curious. Why do some people do three sets of ten reps while others do five sets of five? What’s progressive overload and why does everyone keep talking about it? How does muscle actually grow? What happens during recovery?

The more I learned, the more engaged I became. Suddenly, my workouts weren’t just random exercises. They were experiments. I’d read about a concept, apply it to my training, and see what happened. It turned the whole thing into a puzzle I actually wanted to solve.

You don’t need to become a sports scientist. But understanding the basics of how strength training works transforms it from a mindless chore into something intellectually stimulating. You start making connections, seeing patterns, understanding why certain things work and others don’t.

And honestly? It’s just cool to know what’s happening inside your body when you lift weights. Knowing that your muscles are literally adapting and getting stronger, that your bones are getting denser, that you’re building something that will serve you for decades. That’s pretty amazing when you think about it.

Make it a ritual, not a task

There’s a big difference between rushing through a workout to check it off your list and treating your training time as something sacred. And I don’t use that word lightly.

Think about it: how often do you get time that’s entirely for yourself? Time where you’re not answering emails, not scrolling social media, not taking care of someone else’s needs? For most of us, almost never. But your workout can be that time.

I started treating my gym sessions as intentional time for myself. I put my phone on do not disturb. I created playlists that make me feel good. I stopped rushing between sets and instead took my time, focusing on how each movement felt. I paid attention to my breath, my posture, the way my muscles engaged.

Training became almost meditative for me. A break from the constant noise in my head. An hour where I could just be present in my body, focused on one thing at a time. In a world that’s constantly demanding our attention, that kind of focus is rare and valuable.

When you start seeing your workout as a gift you give yourself rather than a burden you have to carry, everything changes. You stop looking for excuses to skip and start protecting that time like it matters. Because it does.

Focus on what your body can do

Here’s something that completely changed my relationship with training: I stopped focusing on how my body looked and started celebrating what it could do.

The first time I did a proper push-up, I nearly cried. I’m not exaggerating. After a lifetime of being “not athletic,” I did something I genuinely thought I’d never be able to do. And that feeling? That pride? It’s addictive in the best way.

Now I chase those moments. Adding weight to the bar. Nailing a movement I’ve been practicing for weeks. Feeling stable and controlled during an exercise that used to feel wobbly. These little victories might seem insignificant to someone else, but to me they’re proof that I’m getting stronger. That my body is capable of more than I ever gave it credit for.

The confidence you build from getting physically stronger doesn’t stay in the gym. It bleeds into everything else. When you know you can deadlift more than your bodyweight, somehow other challenges in life feel more manageable too. It’s like you’ve proven to yourself that you can do hard things, so why not try other hard things?

Start paying attention to your progress. Keep a training log. Celebrate when you add a rep or increase the weight. Respect your body for what it can accomplish, not just how it looks. That shift in perspective is EVERYTHING.

Let go of perfection

Not every workout is going to feel amazing. Some days you’ll walk into the gym feeling strong and motivated. Other days you’ll barely make it through your warm-up. Both are completely normal.

One of the biggest mistakes I made early on was treating every bad workout as evidence that I wasn’t cut out for this. If I had a weak session, I’d spiral into thinking maybe I should just give up. Classic all-or-nothing thinking.

What I’ve learned is that progress is messy and non-linear. You’ll have weeks where you feel invincible and weeks where everything feels harder than it should. Your energy fluctuates with your sleep, your stress, your hormones, your nutrition, a million different factors. That’s not failure. That’s being human.

The key is showing up anyway. A mediocre workout is infinitely better than no workout. And sometimes, those days when you really didn’t want to go but went anyway are the most important ones. They’re the ones that build the habit, that prove to yourself you’re committed even when it’s hard.

Also, please stop comparing yourself to people on the internet. You’re seeing their highlight reel, their best angles, their most impressive lifts. You’re not seeing the years of work behind those moments, or the bad days they definitely have but don’t post about. Your only competition is who you were yesterday.

The rewards that show up slowly

The best parts of strength training don’t show up right away. They build gradually, quietly, in the background while you’re focused on sets and reps.

Physical strength translates into mental resilience. There’s something about regularly doing hard physical things that makes you more capable of handling hard emotional things too. I can’t explain exactly why, but I feel more grounded, more capable, more able to handle whatever life throws at me since I started training seriously.

There’s also this quiet confidence that comes from keeping promises to yourself. Every time you said you’d go to the gym and actually went, you built trust with yourself. You proved that you’re someone who follows through. That self-trust is incredibly valuable, and it compounds over time.

And then there’s the long game. I’m 42 now, and I’m more aware than ever that how I treat my body today affects how I’ll live in my sixties, seventies, and beyond. Muscle mass, bone density, functional strength... these aren’t just vanity metrics. They’re what determines whether you’ll be able to play with your grandkids, travel independently, live fully in your later years.

When I think about strength training now, I don’t think about it as something I do. It’s part of who I am. A lifelong practice that will evolve with me through every stage of life. And I think that’s pretty cool.

Falling in love is a practice

You don’t need to love every single workout to love strength training. Some sessions will be hard. Some will be boring. Some will make you question why you’re doing this at all.

But love grows through understanding, patience, and intention. It grows when you stop punishing yourself and start taking care of yourself. When you get curious instead of frustrated. When you celebrate small wins and forgive bad days.

If you’re starting fresh this year, I want you to know that it’s possible to genuinely enjoy this. Not just tolerate it, not just force yourself through it, but actually look forward to it. It happened for me, and I was the most unlikely candidate imaginable.

Approach your training with curiosity, compassion, and commitment. Give it time. Let it become part of your life rather than something you squeeze into your life.

And who knows? Maybe next January, instead of making yet another resolution to start working out, you’ll be a full year into a practice you genuinely love. Trust me, it’s worth it.

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Skinny-fat is a really common problem for most women I know. And it’s not because we’re lazy or not trying hard enough. It’s because we’ve been fed absolute garbage information for decades. We’ve been told to do endless cardio, eat as little as possible, and stay out of the weight room unless we want to “bulk up like a man.”

So today I’m breaking down everything: what skinny-fat actually means, why it happens, and the main pillars you need to fix it. Consider this your ultimate guide to getting strong as f* without starving yourself or spending your life on a treadmill.

In this article:

• What is skinny-fat (and why BMI is useless)

• How you got here (hint: it’s not your metabolism)

• Pillar 1: Training – the principles that actually matter

• Pillar 2: Nutrition – finding your maintenance & creating a sustainable deficit

• The macros breakdown: protein, fat, and carbs

• How long should your fat loss phase last

Let’s go.

What is skinny-fat?

For years you counted every calorie, did endless cardio, and even hit your goal weight. And yet... the results are not what you expected. Your arms jiggle and you feel soft and undefined. You’ve lost the weight, sure, but you can’t see any muscle definition.

Congratulations, you’re skinny-fat (I’ve been there too). But don’t worry, we’re getting you out of it.

So what the hell is skinny-fat exactly?

It’s when you fall within a “normal” BMI range — what society considers a “healthy” weight — but you’re carrying a higher-than-ideal body fat percentage. The problem with BMI is it's just your weight in kilograms divided by your height in meters squared. That’s it. It tells you absolutely nothing about your lean mass versus body fat ratio.

And girls, hear me out: what makes your body look toned and sculpted is having a good amount of muscle combined with a low percentage of body fat. BMI doesn’t capture any of that.

If you think this is purely an aesthetic issue, think again. Skinny-fat individuals often face the same health risks as people who are overweight or obese. We’re talking metabolic issues, insulin resistance, and higher cardiovascular risk.

How someone gets skinny-fat

I’m going to be honest with you here. And you might not love the answer.

No, it’s not menopause. Your metabolism isn’t “broken.” And it’s definitely not just your age.

The common thread in almost everyone dealing with skinny-fat is a lack of proper strength training, combined with crash diets and really poor eating habits. Not enough protein, too much processed food, and way too many years of cardio-only workouts.

All of this leads to one thing: too little muscle mass.

If you’re not strength training and not eating the right amount of macronutrients (protein, carbs, and fat in proper balance), you simply cannot build muscle. Your body needs the stimulus and the fuel.

Can hormones and genetics play a role? Absolutely. Some of us store fat more easily in certain areas. But before you can blame those factors, you need to be honest about whether you’re actually doing the basics right. And believe me, most of the time we’re not.

But the good news is you’re not doomed to be skinny-fat forever. All you need are 2 main pillars and a bit of patience. Let’s break them down.

The main pillars that will transform your physique (& your overall health)

🏋🏻‍♀️ Pillar 1: Training

I know, I know. You probably expected me to say the first thing you need to change is your diet. But nope.

If your goal is body recomposition and actually changing your shape, not just the number on the scale, you need to build a foundation first. And research shows that resistance training alone has a positive effect on your body fat percentage, even before you touch your diet.

So here’s my advice: get your training program nailed down first, then dial in your calories. In that order.

I won’t explain every mechanism and science deep-dive behind training and muscle growth here, but I’ll break down the essentials.

The training principles you need to know

Before you start thinking about sets and reps, you need to understand the rules of the game. These principles are those rules. The variables (weight, reps, rest times) are the knobs you turn week to week. When you put the principles first and then adjust the variables, you can build an effective session anywhere, whether that’s a commercial gym, a hotel room, or your living room.

➡️ Specificity

You get better at what you actually practice. The closer your training matches the result you want, the faster you’ll get there.

This means choosing one or two key exercises that directly serve your goal, placing them first in your session while you’re fresh, progressing them intentionally, and using the rest of your workout to support those main lifts.

For example, if your goal is to grow your glutes, make a hip-hinge or bridge pattern movement your priority. You might start your session with hip thrusts or Romanian deadlifts for 3 hard sets, follow with squats, leg press, or unilateral work like lunges for 2 sets, and finish with something like cable hip abductions or 45-degree back extensions for 2 sets.

Want to get your first pull-up? Practice pull-ups 2-3 times per week using assistance or bands, add some slow eccentrics (lowering yourself under control), and include row variations for extra pulling volume.

Your body adapts to what you consistently ask it to do. So ask with precision.

➡️ Progressive overload

This one is everything.

If you never ask more of your body, your body has no reason to adapt. But progressive overload doesn’t mean increasing everything at once, every session. That’s a recipe for burnout.

You can progress by:

• Increasing the load by 1-2 kilograms

• Adding one rep per set at the same weight

• Adding one extra working set (if recovery is good)

• Doing the same work in slightly less time (reducing rest)

• Improving your range of motion or tempo

Use only one of these at a time so you know what actually caused the progress.

Here’s a practical example: pick a rep range like 8-10 reps at about 2 reps in reserve (meaning you could have done 2 more). When all your working sets hit the top of that range with clean form, add 1-2.5 kg next session and rebuild from the bottom of the range. This creates steady, confidence-building progress.

Think of it as an escalator, not a rollercoaster.

➡️ Variation

You need repeated exposure to build a skill and get results. But most people get bored doing the same thing forever. So here’s the sweet spot: keep the movement patterns the same, but exchange specific exercises every 4-6 weeks.

For a squat pattern, you might move from back squats to front squats to a smith machine pause squat. Same pattern, fresh stimulus. This protects your joints while keeping things interesting.

➡️ Adherence

Consistency beats perfection. Every single time.

A flawless program that doesn’t fit your life is useless. Remove friction so showing up is easy. On busy weeks, a “minimum viable plan” of 2 short full-body sessions plus daily walking keeps momentum going. Never double up to catch up. Just take today’s plan and move forward.

Be realistic with your schedule. If you can realistically get to the gym twice a week, build your program around that. You’ll get better results than someone with a perfect 5-day split they only follow for 3 weeks before quitting.

Win the inputs. Sessions completed, steps walked, daily protein hit. The outputs will follow.

If you have no idea where to start

If you can’t afford a PT right now, here’s what I’d do:

Buy a program from someone you trust. Lift with Sarah have great options for all levels.

Use a training app. Honestly, I’ve been using training apps for years and it removes so much stress and guesswork. You’ll walk into the gym knowing exactly what to do. My favorites are Evolve You and Gains by Brains. Pick a program, follow it week after week, and you will not be disappointed.

And one more thing...

Let’s talk about what it actually means to train hard.

If you want to change your body, those cute 2-kg pink dumbbells aren’t going to cut it. I’m not saying you need to squat your bodyweight on day one, but you need to challenge yourself. Whatever your current level is, you need to push just a little beyond it.

If you can scroll on your phone while doing leg press, you’re not training hard enough. Period.

🥗 Pillar 2: Nutrition

When it comes to building muscle, you might hear some fitness influencers or gym bros preach that more food is always better. But actually, research shows that most people don’t need to eat everything in sight to gain muscle.

Eating at your calorie maintenance is enough to build muscle when you’re a beginner. For more advanced lifters, a slight surplus of 200-500 calories is the sweet spot.

I shared my nutrition strategies in this article:

What really matters is understanding when you need a surplus versus a deficit.

If you’re currently skinny-fat, the first priority is losing fat, not bulking. And if you do everything right, you’ll see huge differences in your first year (yes, we’re here for the long game) without needing to eat above maintenance.

That’s why I recommend waiting at least one year of consistent training and tracking progress before even thinking about bulking and cutting cycles.

Finding your maintenance

If you’ve just come off a long period of dieting and your calories are already pretty low, or if you have no idea how much you’re actually eating day to day, I’d recommend returning to your calorie maintenance for at least a month. Give your body a break before starting a strategic fat loss phase.

Here’s how to do it:

• Calculate your estimated maintenance using an online calculator or ChatGPT (BMR + activity level)

• Plan your meals around that number

• Track everything you eat for 10-14 days

• Weigh yourself every morning under the same conditions: same scale, after the bathroom, before food

At the end of each week, calculate your weekly average weight. Compare week 1 to week 2:

• If your average stays steady → that’s roughly your maintenance

• If it goes up or down → adjust your estimate by about 100 kcal and keep observing

Why weekly averages instead of daily weigh-ins? Because your weight can swing day-to-day based on sodium, carbs, digestion, and (for us) menstrual cycle water retention. The weekly average smooths all that out.

Setting up your deficit

Once you know your maintenance, create a modest deficit. For most women, about 10-15% below maintenance is a good starting point. The goal is sustainability, not a crash.

Pick an approach that fits your life and protects your training performance.

Now let’s break down the macros.

➡️ Protein

Getting enough protein while trying to build muscle is crucial. It’s literally the building blocks for muscle repair and growth. But there’s so much debate about the “perfect” intake because there’s no one-size-fits-all answer.

My recommendation to keep it simple: aim for at least 120-150 grams of protein per day, spread across at least 4 meals.

Yes, you read that correctly. Even if you’re on the lighter side and end up at the higher end of that range, it won’t harm you (unless you lose your sanity and go full carnivore). It’s always better to have a bit more than to fall short.

If you want to dig deeper into protein, I wrote a full breakdown here:

➡️ Fat

There’s this persistent myth that eating fat makes you gain fat. Not true.

Dietary fat is essential for survival, especially for women. It regulates metabolic processes, contributes to hormone production, and helps your body absorb certain vitamins.

My general recommendation: aim for 20-35% of your daily calories from fat. Keeping it at minimum 20% helps prevent fat-soluble vitamin deficiencies and hormonal issues.

➡️ Carbohydrates

Carbs are not the enemy. I repeat: carbs are not the enemy.

They play a crucial role in fueling your training performance. If you’re also doing endurance sports on top of strength training, you probably need even more.

My approach: calculate your protein and fat intake first, then fill up the remainder of your calories with carbs.

The hard part

In theory, creating a deficit is easy. But sticking to it consistently long enough to see results? That’s the actual work.

This is why it’s so important to create a diet plan that works for your lifestyle.

Also, tracking progress is crucial. If your weekly average weight hasn’t moved for two consecutive weeks (and you’ve accounted for menstrual cycle stuff), make a small tweak:

• Increase movement by about +2,000 steps/day

• Or add +10 minutes of LISS cardio to two sessions

Still nothing after another 7-14 days? Carefully decrease intake by about 100 kcal/day. And if you’re feeling run down or exhausted, take a 7-day diet break at maintenance, then resume.

Important to keep in mind

Your fat loss phase shouldn’t last more than 3-4 months. Why? Because as you lose weight, your metabolism adapts to burn fewer calories. That’s when you start to plateau.

Since our goal is building a lean, strong body, I don’t recommend dropping calories super low. It’ll tank your training performance and hurt your overall health.

Instead, after 3-4 months of deficit, return to maintenance for at least 2 months. With more food, you’ll feel more energized, see more progress in your training, and build more muscle.

If you want to lean out a bit more after that, you can do another fat loss phase. But honestly? Once you hit a healthy body fat percentage (around 20-24% for women — you can go leaner, around 15-18%, but know that’s considered very lean and harder to maintain year-round), just stay at maintenance and keep training hard.

If you decide it’s time for something more aggressive like a proper bulk, I highly recommend working with a nutritionist or coach who specializes in sports nutrition. The chances of ending a bulk with more fat than muscle when you do it alone are high.

That’s a wrap

I hope this guide helps you take the first steps (or the next steps) toward your goals. Remember: there’s no magic pill. No secret hack. Just consistent training, proper nutrition, and patience with yourself.

You’ve got this.

See you in the next one 💪

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Solid research shows that the “ideal” amount of protein depends on several factors: your activity level, your age, your current body composition, and most importantly, your goals. It’s not one-size-fits-all, and that’s actually good news because it means you can personalize your approach.

My goal with this article is simple: give you clear, no-BS benchmarks for protein intake (without making you feel like you need a nutrition degree), plus practical strategies that actually work for women who want to build muscle.

How muscle grows and why protein is non-negotiable

For the longest time, I wasn’t seeing any progress in the gym. Like, zero. I was showing up, doing the work, lifting consistently... and nothing. My muscles weren’t growing, I wasn’t getting stronger, and honestly, I was getting pretty frustrated.

Turns out, I wasn’t eating enough protein. Actually, I wasn’t eating enough, period.

Here’s what’s happening in your body when you’re trying to build muscle: every time you lift weights, you’re creating tiny tears in your muscle fibers. This process is called hypertrophy, and it’s actually what you want. Your body then repairs these micro-tears, and in doing so, makes the muscle fibers bigger and stronger. That’s muscle growth.

The catch is that muscle protein synthesis requires amino acids, which come from... you guessed it, protein. If you’re not giving your body enough protein, it simply can’t repair and build muscle efficiently, no matter how hard you train.

And there’s more. Protein isn’t just about building muscle. It’s absolutely crucial for recovery. More protein means better recovery, which means you can train harder and more frequently, which means better progress. It’s this beautiful cycle that only works if you’re fueling your body properly.

When I finally started eating enough protein (and enough food in general), everything changed. Suddenly, I could actually see muscle definition. I was getting stronger and my recovery was faster. I was finally giving my body what it needed to do the work I was asking it to do.

Okay, so how much protein do I actually need?

Here’s where it gets personal, because the “ideal” amount truly depends on your goals and your current body composition. Let me break it down in a way that’s actually useful:

If you’re maintaining your current weight and training regularly: aim for about 1.2 to 1.7 grams per kilogram of body weight. If you weigh 65 kg (about 143 lbs), that’s roughly 78 to 110 grams of protein per day. This keeps your muscles happy and supports your training without going overboard.

If you’re trying to lose fat while preserving muscle: this is where you want to be on the higher end, around 1.6 to 2.0 grams per kilogram. Why? Because when you’re in a calorie deficit, your body is more likely to break down muscle for energy. Higher protein intake protects that hard-earned muscle while you shed fat. For our 65 kg person, that’s 104 to 130 grams daily.

If you’re focused on gaining muscle (in a slight calorie surplus): research shows that 1.6 grams per kilogram is the sweet spot for maximizing muscle growth, though you can go up to 2.2 g/kg if you’re training really intensely. Beyond that, there aren’t really additional benefits. So for 65 kg, you’re looking at 104 to 143 grams per day.

If you’re over 40: once you reach your 40s and 50s, your body becomes less responsive to protein (a phenomenon called “anabolic resistance”). To keep your muscles healthy and prevent age-related loss, experts recommend at least 1.2 grams of protein per kilogram of bodyweight per day.

All that being said, I don’t want to overcomplicate it for you, so if you are a normal, somewhat active person, you can keep your intake around 1.2 to 2.0 g/kg. It will allow you to see muscle growth and be healthier.

The key thing to remember is: aim for at least 30 grams of protein per meal, and spread your total intake throughout the day rather than loading it all into dinner. Your body can only use so much protein at once for muscle building, so spacing it out is way more effective.

How to eat enough protein without losing your mind

Alright, theory is great and all, but let’s talk about real life. Here are the strategies that actually work:

Start with breakfast. Aim for at least 30 grams of protein in your first meal. This isn’t just about hitting your protein goal — it sets you up for better appetite control and energy throughout the day.

Think in portions, not grams. A palm-sized portion of protein-rich food (chicken, fish, tofu, etc.) is roughly 25-30 grams of protein. Aim for one at each meal, and suddenly you’re at 75-90 grams without even trying that hard.

Don’t sleep on plant proteins. Beans, lentils, chickpeas, quinoa, nuts — they all count. You don’t need to eat chicken breast for every meal. Variety is actually better because different protein sources come with different nutrients.

Protein at every snack. Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, a protein shake, eggs. Keep these on rotation and you’ll easily add another 20-30 grams to your daily total.

Prep makes perfect. I know, meal prep sounds tedious. But honestly? Cook a big batch of protein on Sunday (chicken thighs, ground turkey, a tray of tofu, whatever), and you’ve just eliminated the biggest barrier to hitting your protein goals all week.

I explained how I approach meal prep in this article:

Three delicious high-protein breakfasts that are ridiculously easy

Listen, I’m not here to give you complicated recipes that require 47 ingredients and a culinary degree. These breakfasts are simple, fast, and they get the job done. I make them all the time, and they’re genuinely delicious.

1. Scrambled eggs with cheese & toasted bagel

This is my go-to when I have a bit more time in the morning. It’s comforting, filling, and hits that protein target beautifully.

Ingredients:

• 1 bagel

• 2 eggs

• 20 g shredded or sliced cheese

• 30 g low-fat cottage cheese

• Seasoning (salt, pepper, herbs — whatever you’re feeling)

How to make it: Heat a pan with a tiny bit of olive oil or cooking spray. Crack your eggs directly into the pan and scramble them with a spatula. Once they’re almost done, add the cheese on top, cover the pan, and let it melt on low heat for like 30 seconds.

Toast your bagel while the eggs are cooking. Spread the cottage cheese on the toasted bagel, top with your cheesy scrambled eggs, and season however you want. I usually throw on some everything bagel seasoning because I’m basic like that.

Pro tip: I always add a bowl of fresh fruit on the side (for micronutrients) and a latte or black coffee. Makes it feel like a proper breakfast.

The stats: ~520 calories | 33g protein | 58g carbs | 18.5g fat

2. Cheese sandwich + protein iced latte (for when you’re running late)

This one is clutch for busy mornings. You can literally make it in 10 minutes, and it tastes way better than it has any right to.

Ingredients:

For the sandwich:

• 2 slices sourdough bread

• 1 slice cheese

• 30 g low-fat cottage cheese

• Seasoning to taste

For the latte:

• 200 ml skimmed or semi-skimmed milk

• 20 g whey protein (vanilla or neutral flavor)

• 2 espresso shots (or 1-2 tsp instant coffee)

• Ice cubes

How to make it:

Sandwich: Spread the cottage cheese on one slice of bread, add your cheese slice, season it up, close the sandwich. Throw it in the oven or air fryer at 180°C for 8 minutes. It comes out crispy and melty and perfect.

Latte: While the sandwich is cooking, throw milk, whey, and ice in a shaker or blender. Shake or blend it up. Pour into a glass, add your espresso shots, and boom — protein coffee.

Pro tip: If you’re using instant coffee, just shake everything together in the shaker. Even faster, and honestly? It’s still really good.

The stats: ~465 calories | 43g protein | 53g carbs | 10g fat

3. banana pancakes (for weekend vibes)

These are weirdly good and feel like a treat even though they’re basically just bananas and eggs with extra protein. Make them on weekends or whenever you want breakfast to feel special.

Ingredients:

• 30 g oats

• 2 eggs

• 1 mashed banana

• Cinnamon (be generous)

• Vanilla extract (a few drops)

• Stevia (optional, if you like it sweeter)

• 15 g skim or semi-skim milk powder

• 15 g whey protein (any flavor you like)

How to make it: Mash your banana in a bowl. Add oats, eggs, cinnamon, and vanilla extract. Mix it all together until it’s a batter. Don’t add the whey and milk powder yet — that’s for the topping.

Heat a pan with a little oil and make small pancakes with the batter. They cook fast, so keep an eye on them.

While they’re cooking, mix the whey protein and milk powder in another bowl. Add water slowly until you get a thick, creamy consistency. This is your protein “cream” topping.

Stack your pancakes, pour the whey cream on top. Add banana slices, berries, more cinnamon — whatever makes you happy.

Pro tip: These are great meal-prepped too. Make a big batch, store them in the fridge, and just reheat in the toaster. Easy weekday breakfast sorted.

The stats: ~470 calories | 35.5g protein | 56g carbs | 13g fat

Let’s wrap this up

Here’s what you need to remember:

• Protein is essential for building muscle.

• Women who lift need more than the basic recommendations — somewhere between 1.2 to 2.0 grams per kilogram of body weight, depending on your goals.

But what I really want you to hear is that hitting your protein goal doesn't have to be complicated. You don’t need to eat chicken breast seven times a day. You don’t need expensive supplements (though whey protein is convenient, not gonna lie). You definitely don’t need to stress about every single gram.

Just focus on getting a good protein source at each meal, starting your day with 30+ grams at breakfast, and choosing whole foods whenever possible. The recipes above are just examples. Find what works for you, what you actually enjoy eating, and build from there.

Because at the end of the day, the best nutrition plan is the one you can stick to. And muscle-building takes time. Be patient with yourself, fuel your body properly, and trust the process.

Now go make those pancakes.

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For real though, my relationship with food was a complete disaster for most of my life. As a kid, I was the world’s pickiest eater. We’re talking survival on white bread, plain pasta, and maybe three vegetables if they were prepared exactly right.

Fast forward to my mid-twenties, when I decided I should probably start caring about what I ate. But the thing is, I didn’t want to nourish my body. I wanted to stay skinny.

I spent years searching for those magical foods that would keep the weight off, flatten my belly, and give me energy. I never found them, because they DON’T exist. What I got instead was a messed-up relationship with food, zero energy for my workouts, and a constant fear of eating the “wrong” things.

This article is about how I finally figured out that food isn’t the enemy. It’s literally the fuel that makes everything else possible. Your workouts, your recovery, your mood, your sleep, that muscle definition you’re chasing. It all starts with what you put on your plate.

My “holy sh*t” moment with food

The turning point came when I finally understood something crucial: you cannot build muscle if you’re not eating enough. But let me tell you, it was a long road before I reached that conclusion.

As women, we’ve been programmed to think that eating less is always better. That suffering equals results. That carbs are evil and will instantly make you gain weight. But when you’re trying to build muscle (which is what gives you that “toned” look everyone wants), your body needs resources.

Think about it like this: you’re asking your body to literally create new tissue. To repair the muscle fibers you tear during training. To adapt and get stronger. How the hell is it supposed to do that on 1200 calories?

When I was eating my sad “flat belly diet”, I had zero energy. My workouts sucked. I was exhausted all day, which made me skip sessions, which meant no progress, which made me restrict more... see the pattern?

The real game-changer was understanding that recovery is when the magic happens. You don’t build muscle in the gym, you tear it down there. You build it when you’re resting and feeding your body what it needs to repair and grow.

The basics of eating for muscle (without the boring science lecture)

Before I share my actual strategy, let me break down the essentials. And no, this won’t be like reading a nutrition textbook. I promise.

The big three: macronutrients

Proteins: your muscle’s best friend

This is what actually repairs and builds muscle tissue. When I finally started eating enough protein (we’re talking 100-120g daily for my 55kg body), everything changed. My recovery improved, I stopped feeling sore for days, and I actually started seeing muscle definition.

My typical high-protein breakfast is two eggs scrambled with a bit of cheese, whole grain toast, a latte, and some fruit. That’s easily 30g of protein right there, and it actually tastes good. Like, really good.

Carbs: not the villain you think they are

We need to talk about carbs. They’re not making you fat. They’re giving you the energy to crush your workouts.

I prioritize complex carbs for most meals: rice, whole grain pasta, oats, potatoes, legumes. These give you sustained energy without the crash. But simple carbs have their place too, especially around workouts when you need quick fuel.

I actually went through a low-carb phase a few years back. Joined the whole “carbs are evil” cult. Worst. Period. Ever. I was a zombie. Couldn’t lift properly, couldn’t think straight, definitely couldn’t build any muscle. I lasted maybe three months before I realized this was insane. Now I eat carbs at every meal and I’m in the best shape of my life.

Fats: the unsung hero

Fats keep your hormones happy, help you feel satisfied, and support overall health. I’m talking good sources here: olive oil, nuts, seeds, avocado, fatty fish, whole eggs. Not the deep-fried nonsense, but real, whole food fats that your body actually knows what to do with.

The supporting cast: micronutrients & hydration

Honestly, if you’re eating a variety of real foods, you’re probably getting most of what you need. Different colored vegetables, some fruit, varied protein sources — you’re covered.

And water? Just drink it. Constantly. Your performance, energy, and recovery all depend on it. I aim for at least 2 liters a day, more on training days. Yes, you’ll pee a lot. But your digestion will work wonderfully and your skin will glow, so deal with it.

My strategy for completely changing how I ate and built actual muscle

Nutrition for muscle building it’s not just about hitting numbers on a tracking app. It’s about eating real food that fuels your body and doesn’t make you miserable.

I really hate the pure “flexible dieting” approach where people eat pop-tarts and protein powder all day just to hit their macros. Sure, the numbers add up, but your body knows the difference between real food and processed crap. We’re going for aesthetics and health here.

Step 1: the reality check

I tracked everything I ate for a week using MyFitnessPal. No judgment, no trying to eat better because I was tracking. Just brutal honesty about what was actually going into my body.

I realized I was eating something like 50 grams of protein a day. The funny thing is that in my head I was eating a high protein diet just because I was having 2 eggs for breakfast. ONLY 50 grams of protein a day! While training 5 days a week. No wonder I felt like death warmed over.

Once I knew where I was, I could figure out where I needed to go. Calculated my actual needs, set up my macro split, and realized I needed to almost double my food intake.

Step 2: setting up a caloric deficit

Here’s something nobody explained to me properly for years: you can’t just jump into a bulk to gain muscle, even if you’re already skinny and eating too little.

Since I have basically no muscle mass, my first instinct was to start building right away. But after doing some research, I decided to go on a caloric deficit first — just two months to lower my body fat percentage and create a better starting point.

I talked about my fitness journey in this article:

Then I switched to building mode, increasing my calories slowly until I hit maintenance. I waited around a year of consistent training before going on a slight caloric surplus — about 200-300 calories above maintenance. Not a dirty bulk where you eat everything in sight, but a controlled increase to give my body the resources it needed to actually build muscle.

Intentionally eating more after years of trying to eat less was absolutely terrifying. But it was the best decision I made.

Step 3: meal planning that doesn’t suck

Sunday became meal planning day. Nothing complicated — I'd map out my meals for the week, make sure I hit my protein target each day, then build my shopping list from that. Done.

My prep strategy is what I call “semi-prep”: I cook 2 protein sources for 2-3 days (like lean ground beef and shredded chicken) plus one carb source (rice, pasta, or potatoes). I don’t prep everything because food goes bad. This gives me flexibility while ensuring I always have the basics ready.

Quick meal hacks that saved my sanity:

• Frozen vegetables are your friend. Not the ones pre-loaded with butter and sauces — just plain frozen veggies you can steam or stir-fry. Super simple and quick for days when you don’t have much time.

• Roasted vegetables in batches. Quick and simple: roughly chop everything, add seasonings (garlic powder, herbs, olive oil, smoked paprika), and throw it in the oven for 30 minutes. You can make enough for lunch and dinner, just switch up the protein.

• When you’re craving variety, get creative with your carbs. Swap your usual rice or pasta for a tortilla or naan bread. Load it with your prepped protein, veggies, a bit of shredded cheese and tomatoes, then pop it in the oven or air fryer for 10 minutes. You’ve got a delicious, quick meal that still fits your macros.

Eating for muscle growth doesn’t mean boring chicken and broccoli every day.

Step 4: workout fuel made simple

Despite what supplement companies want you to believe, you don’t need special powders and potions around your workouts. Your body mainly uses stored glycogen (from the carbs you ate earlier) for fuel.

That said, if you train early morning or it’s been hours since your last meal, something quick can help. My go-tos: a banana, toast with honey, dried fruits, or a simple carb drink. Whatever your stomach can handle.

Post-workout: just eat your next regular meal within a reasonable time. The “anabolic window” is mostly bro-science. Your muscles aren’t going to disappear if you don’t slam a protein shake within 30 seconds of your last rep.

Step 5: the only three supplements worth your money

You don’t need a medicine cabinet full of pills and powders. Here’s what I actually use:

Creatine: 5g daily, every day. Helps with strength and recovery. Cheapest and most researched supplement out there. Just buy the basic monohydrate, not the fancy versions.

Whey protein: Convenience thing for me. Sometimes hitting 120g of protein from whole foods is hard. A shake helps bridge the gap.

Caffeine: My pre-workout is called coffee. Sometimes I’ll have a pre-workout drink if I’m really dragging. That’s it.

Everything else is marketing hype. Save your money for actual food.

Step 6: tracking that keeps you sane

I weigh myself weekly, looking at trends not daily fluctuations. If you want to get fancy, MacroFactor is an amazing app that adjusts your calories and macros based on your actual progress.

But the real indicator is progressive overload in the gym. If you’re getting stronger, you’re doing something right. If your lifts are stalling for weeks, you probably need to eat more.

Step 7: the mindset shift that changed everything

The hardest part for me was overcoming the fear of eating more.

My first real bulk happened this year, between January and June, and I only had the courage to do it because I had a nutritionist who reassured me every step of the way. In six months, I achieved results I’d never seen before. Results that had eluded me for years because even when I was supposedly eating to gain muscle, my brain wouldn’t let me go all the way.

The fear is real. Every time the scale went up, part of me panicked. Every time my jeans felt a bit tighter, that old voice whispered that I was getting fat. But here’s what I learned: that temporary discomfort is the price of building the body you actually want.

Breaking free from the “eat less” mentality isn’t something that happens overnight. It’s a daily choice to trust the process, to feed your body what it needs, to believe that more food means more muscle, not just more fat.

Making this work in real life

Here’s what makes or breaks your nutrition: can you actually stick to it?

Environment matters: If there’s ice cream in my freezer, I’m eating it. So I don’t buy it every week. I stock up on foods that support my goals and save treats for when I really want them.

Smart meal prep: Just enough to save time without getting bored. Having proteins ready means I can throw together a meal in 10 minutes.

Education beats rules: Once I understood why I needed certain nutrients, choosing foods became easier. No more fear, no more “good” vs “bad” foods. Just informed choices based on my goals.

The bottom line

Five years ago, I was scared of carbs, surviving on rabbit food, and wondering why I had no energy and no muscle definition despite working out constantly.

Today I eat more than I ever have, including plenty of carbs (gasp!), and I’m stronger and leaner than I was at 25. The difference? I finally learned to work with my body instead of against it.

Your body is not the enemy. Food is not the enemy. They’re partners in building the strong, healthy physique you want. Feed your body what it needs, and it will reward you with energy, strength, and yes, even those aesthetic gains you’re after.

This week, pick one or two things to try. Maybe track your food for a few days to see where you’re at. Or add an extra 20-30g of protein to your daily intake. Or prep two protein sources for the week. Small steps, but they add up.

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This isn't one of those "I've always been athletic" stories. Nope. This is for all of you who, like me, spent most of your life thinking that fitness was for "other people". The naturally sporty ones, the coordinated ones, the ones who actually knew what to do with a dumbbell.

For years (and I mean YEARS) I saw diets and exercise as some kind of punishment. You know the drill: you hate how you look in photos, so you punish yourself with sad salads and treadmill sessions until you reach some magic number on the scale. Then you're done and can go back to normal life. The problem is: this never worked. Not even once.

My non-athletic origin story

I wasn't just inactive. I was proudly, stubbornly sedentary for most of my life.

Growing up, sports were like a foreign language in my house. Nobody in my family exercised. Nobody. And you know what? That shapes you. When movement isn't part of your family culture, when nobody around you values physical activity, it becomes this mysterious thing that other families do. Like going to the opera or eating quinoa. Just not for people like us.

School PE classes? Absolute nightmare. I was always the last one picked for teams. You know that kid who's standing there while team captains argue about who has to take them? Yeah, that was me. Every. Single. Time. And let me tell you, that stuff stays with you. When you're consistently chosen last, your brain starts making connections: sports = humiliation, physical activity = not for me. Better to just avoid the whole thing.

I genuinely believed you needed special abilities to do sports. Like some genetic lottery I clearly hadn't won. In my mind, athletic people were born different. They had coordination, strength, natural talent. Me? I could barely run to catch the bus without feeling like my lungs were going to explode.

And let's talk about beauty standards for a second. I grew up in the 90s and hit my teenage years in the early 2000s. If you were there, you know what I'm talking about. Kate Moss, heroin chic, size zero everything. The message was clear: the skinnier, the better. Exercise wasn't about being strong or healthy, especially for women. It was purely about burning calories and getting as small as possible.

The weird thing? I was naturally thin. You'd think that would make things easier, right? Wrong. Being thin without exercising just reinforced this toxic idea that I was "lucky" and didn't "need" to work out. Society basically told me: you're already skinny, so why bother? Meanwhile, I had zero muscle tone, zero stamina, and probably the cardiovascular health of someone twice my age. But hey, I fit into small jeans, so everything was fine.

When things started to (slowly) shift

Something changed when I hit my mid-twenties. Maybe it was seeing my metabolism slow down, or maybe I was just tired of feeling weak and tired all the time. I decided to give this whole "fitness" thing a try.

But here's the thing: even though I was trying something new, my brain was still stuck in those old toxic patterns. My goals? Be as skinny as possible. My strategy? Eat as little as possible.

I was what they call "skinny fat" – thin but with basically no muscle and a pretty high body fat percentage for my weight. My body was essentially made of bones, skin, and whatever fat I had. Muscle? What muscle?

I remember walking into a gym for the first time around age 25. I wanted a toned body (whatever that meant), but I was terrified of getting too muscular. Girls, can we talk about how ridiculous this fear is? I was acting like I might accidentally wake up looking like a bodybuilder. As if women can just accidentally pack on massive amounts of muscle while casually doing some bicep curls.

Of course, I didn't get the results I wanted. How could I? I wasn't really training properly, and I definitely wasn't eating enough. I was probably consuming something ridiculous like 1200 calories a day because every women's magazine told me that was the magic number for weight loss. Nobody mentioned that eating too little basically tells your metabolism to slow down to survival mode. Your body literally thinks you're in a famine and holds onto every calorie for dear life.

I spent years in this cycle. Try a new diet, do some half-hearted cardio, see no results, give up. Try fat-burning pills (don't judge, we've all been there), do a juice cleanse, see no results, give up. Join a gym in January, stop going by February. Rinse and repeat.

Then, about five years ago, something clicked. I was 37, and I was just... done. Done feeling weak. Done being exhausted all the time. Done with my body composition. I wanted to feel strong. I wanted endurance. I wanted to actually see some muscle definition when I flexed (yes, I tried flexing even though there was nothing to flex).

This was when everything started to shift. I realized that if I wanted real results, I needed to stop following random Instagram workouts and actually understand how the body works. So I started researching. Like, really researching. Reading studies, watching educational content, learning about muscle protein synthesis, progressive overload, and all these concepts I'd never heard of before.

And this is when I discovered a whole new world of fitness content that completely changed my perspective. YouTube channels and fitness influencers who were actually talking sense – explaining why building muscle matters, why women need to lift heavy things, why protein isn't just for bros at the gym. They weren't selling quick fixes or magic pills. They were talking about science, about longevity, about how muscle mass affects everything from your metabolism to your bone density to how well you'll be able to get off the toilet when you're 80.

And suddenly, I became obsessed. Not with being skinny, but with getting STRONG. With building actual, visible, functional muscle.

That's when my real training journey began. That's when everything changed.

The strategies and tools that actually worked

This transformation didn't happen overnight. We're talking about five years of showing up at the gym 4-5 times a week. No magic pills, no 30-day transformations, no "one weird trick." Just consistency, some major mindset shifts, and yes, eating way more than I ever thought I should.

And let me be clear about something: all the strategies I'm about to share only worked because I actually did them. You can read all the fitness articles in the world, save every workout plan, buy all the supplements, but if you don't take action, nothing changes.

The magic isn't in the perfect program or the optimal macro split. It's in showing up. It's in taking that first terrifying step into the gym. It's in cooking that meal instead of ordering takeout for the hundredth time. Knowledge without action is just entertainment. The only thing that creates change is actually doing the work, even when it's messy, even when you're not sure you're doing it right.

Just start. The rest will follow.

1. Understanding where I was and setting realistic goals

The first thing I had to figure out was what the hell I actually wanted. Without a clear goal, you're just spinning your wheels, jumping from one workout trend to another, never seeing real results.

My advice is to start small. Don't try to change your entire life in one week. Pick one or two goals and build from there.

When I started training seriously, my goal was simple: change my body composition. I wanted to flip that "skinny fat" situation I mentioned earlier. Build muscle, lose fat, actually see some definition when I looked in the mirror.

But I knew aesthetic changes take time. Like, a LOT of time. So I did something that probably saved my entire fitness journey. I shifted my focus – instead of obsessing over how I looked, I decided to focus on how I felt.

And wow, the difference was almost immediate. Within weeks, I was sleeping better, actually sleeping through the night instead of tossing and turning. My mood improved dramatically, and I found myself being more patient and positive throughout the day. Even simple things like carrying groceries or climbing stairs became easier.

This mental shift was everything. It kept me going back to the gym day after day, even when I couldn't see physical changes yet. Going to the gym became less about punishment and more about taking care of myself. It became enjoyable. Yes, I said it. Enjoyable.

Once the habit was locked in, when going to the gym felt as automatic as brushing my teeth, that's when I thought it was time to work on that body transformation I originally wanted.

2. Adjusting my nutrition (aka properly fueling my body)

Here's the thing nobody wants to hear: you can't out-train a bad diet. Trust me, I tried. For years.

But before we dive into this, let me say that what I'm about to share is for people who have specific physique goals. If you just want to eat healthier or feel better, you might not need all of this. But if you want to actually change your body composition, keep reading.

You cannot build muscle if you're not eating enough. I need to repeat this because it's so important. And girlies, we've been programmed to eat like birds for so long that eating enough might shock you. Once I started actually feeding my body what it needed, everything changed. My workouts got better, I recovered faster, and I started seeing muscle definition.

To build muscle, you need about 1.6 to 2.2 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight. Now, the exact amount depends on various factors like your training intensity, age, and goals, but if you want solid results, staying within this range is your best bet. For me, at 55 kilos, that meant eating 88-120 grams of protein daily. When I first calculated this, I nearly fell off my chair. That seemed like SO MUCH food!

Now, I work with a nutritionist to dial in my nutrition – best investment ever, by the way. But I know not everyone can afford that right now, so let me share what I learned about doing it yourself.

Yes, you'll need to weigh your food. Yes, you'll need to track your calories. Apps make this super easy though. And no, this doesn't mean living on chicken breast and sweet potatoes for the rest of your life. With a little knowledge, you can eat delicious, varied meals and still hit your goals.

The magic of tracking

The first step was figuring out my basal metabolic rate (you can calculate yours using this Basal Metabolic Rate Calculator), basically how many calories I burn just existing. This helped me understand how much I should actually be eating and how to split up my macros (proteins, carbs, fats). There's a whole world of "bulking" (eating in a surplus to build muscle) and "cutting" (eating in a deficit to lose fat) that I'll dive into in a dedicated nutrition article, but the key point is this: I had to eat MORE to see results.

And I also started weighing myself regularly. I know for some people this can be triggering. But the scale is just data. It doesn't tell you everything, like how much of that weight is muscle versus fat, but combined with how my clothes fit and what I saw in the mirror, it helped me track progress and adjust my approach.

But here's what I learned about tracking after years of trial and error:

• You don't need to be perfect from day one. When you're starting out, just focusing on eating enough protein and training consistently will get you some results. You'll see changes, especially if you're a beginner.

• But here's the catch: those initial gains will plateau. If you're serious about changing your body composition, tracking becomes essential. Not forever, but at least long enough to understand what you're actually eating.

• Think of it as a learning phase. Track for a few months, learn what portions look like, understand your patterns, then you can ease off once you've built that knowledge. But when progress stalls or you want to level up, you'll need to go back to tracking to adjust your strategy.

My essential tracking toolkit

• Kitchen scale: If I had to pick ONE thing that changed the game, this is it. You think you know what 100g of chicken looks like? You don't. Trust me. A kitchen scale takes all the guesswork out of portion sizes and makes tracking accurate. Without it, you're basically playing nutritional roulette.

• Body weight scale: Remember, this is for data collection, not for self-worth. Weight fluctuates daily (water, hormones, that salty dinner last night), but tracking the overall trend over weeks and months gives you valuable information about whether your approach is working.

• Phone camera: Progress photos are everything. I know, I know, taking photos of yourself in workout clothes feels awkward. Do it anyway. The scale might not move for weeks, but photos will show you the muscle definition appearing, the posture improving, the confidence growing. Take them in the same lighting, same poses, once a week.

• Calorie tracking app: You need one. Period. I use MyFitnessPal because it's free and has basically every food ever created in its database. MacroFactor and Foodvisor are also solid options if you want something different. Pick one, learn how to use it, and be consistent. It's like having a nutrition coach in your pocket.

3. Getting over my fear of heavy weights

If you want to change your body, those cute 2-kg pink dumbbells aren't going to cut it. I'm not saying you need to deadlift a car on day one, but you need to challenge yourself. Whatever your maximum capability is, you need to work towards it.

I wish someone had told me earlier how crucial lifting heavy weights is for women over 30. After our thirties, we start losing muscle mass naturally (it's called sarcopenia, and it's not fun). We're talking about 3-8% muscle loss per decade. The only way to fight this? Build muscle.

Those light weights might make you sweat, but they won't build the muscle you need to keep your metabolism firing, your bones strong, and your body functional as you age.

And before you panic about getting bulky, we don't have enough testosterone for that to happen accidentally. What heavy weights will do is give you definition, strength, and that toned look everyone's after. Plus, the heavier you lift, the more calories you burn even at rest, because muscle is metabolically expensive to maintain. It's literally the best anti-aging tool we have.

You don't need a new workout every week, you need structure

For years, I was that person doing random workouts from Instagram. Monday would be some influencer's "booty burn" routine. Tuesday would be a different influencer's "ab blast." Wednesday was anyone's guess. And the result was zero progress.

Your body needs consistency to adapt and grow. If you're constantly switching things up, your muscles never get the chance to actually develop. The game-changer for me was following a structured program and sticking with it for weeks, even months. Same exercises, same structure, just gradually increasing the weight or reps.

Repetition leads to perfection. Pick a program and stick with it.

The secret sauce: progressive overload

Your body is smart. It adapts. Once it figures out how to handle those 5-kg dumbbells, it stops building muscle. Progressive overload is the actual secret sauce. It means gradually making your workouts harder over time. And no, this doesn't mean completely changing your routine (we just established that's counterproductive). It means taking the same exercises and making them progressively more challenging.

This can look like:

• Adding 2 kilos to your squat every week or two

• Going from 8 reps to 10 reps with the same weight

• Improving your form and going deeper in your movements

• Reducing rest time between sets

• Adding an extra set

For me, tracking this was crucial. I literally kept a notebook where I wrote down every weight, every set, every rep. Sounds obsessive? Maybe. But without tracking, you're just guessing. With tracking, you're building.

The beauty of progressive overload is that it's measurable proof that you're getting stronger, even when the mirror isn't showing changes yet. Those numbers don't lie. When you're consistently adding weight to the bar, you ARE building muscle, even if you can't see it immediately.

The tools that made lifting feel less scary

Unlike nutrition, where I hired a professional, I've never had a personal trainer for my workouts. When I got serious about strength training, I bought a program from a fitness creator I trusted. Eventually, she launched an app, and I switched to that. Since then, I've tried several apps, but my favorites are:

• Evolve You by Krissy Cela: Super well-designed with different training styles. The Strong program is perfect for beginners, and Gain is my go-to for building muscle.

• Gains by Brains by Sophie van Oostenbrugge: I've been using this since it launched last year. All her programs focus on strength training with proper periodization. My faves are Transform and Hourglass (glute focused).

Yes, these apps cost money. But honestly, they're the best investment ever. I walk into the gym knowing exactly what to do, following a structured program that's been crucial for my progress.

If you're really nervous about starting alone, consider hiring a personal trainer for just a few sessions to learn proper form and how the machines work. Once you feel confident, you can switch to apps. Of course, if you can afford a PT for every session, that's amazing and you should absolutely do it!

The bottom line (or: what I wish I knew years ago)

I could write about this stuff for hours, and I will. Nutrition and training deep-dives are coming soon. But let me leave you with this:

The biggest change wasn't in my body. It was in my mind. When I stopped seeing exercise as punishment and started seeing it as medicine, everything shifted. When I stopped trying to eat as little as possible and started fueling my body properly, I got stronger. When I stopped fearing weights and started challenging myself, I finally saw changes.

There's no magic pill. No secret strategy. No shortcut. It's just showing up, day after day, even when you don't want to. It's eating enough protein even when you're full. It's adding weight to the bar when last week's weight starts feeling easy.

Five years ago, I couldn't do a single push-up. Today, at 42, I'm deadlifting more than my body weight and feeling like an absolute badass. If someone who spent 37 years avoiding exercise can do this, trust me, you can too.

The truth is, it's never too late to start. Your body is incredibly adaptable, even in your forties, fifties, and beyond. You just need to give it the right tools: consistent training, proper nutrition, and most importantly, patience with yourself.

I hope my story inspires you to make that change too. If you're looking for straightforward advice on getting stronger, feeling better, and maybe even surprising yourself with what you're capable of, stick around. This is just the beginning.

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But maybe that's exactly why I should be writing this.

This isn't my first time creating content online. Back in the day, I had blogs about fashion, travel, photography. They never went viral or anything, but I loved the process of creating, sharing, connecting with people who cared about the same things.

Then social media happened. Suddenly, nobody wanted to read anymore. Everything became about quick hits, viral moments, 15-second videos. And honestly? That's never been me. I hate being on camera. I overthink every post. I'm that person who writes and rewrites a simple Instagram caption seventeen times before hitting publish.

When I started my fitness journey five years ago, I tried the Instagram fitness influencer thing. Posted a few workout photos, shared some tips here and there. Friends were supportive, followers seemed interested, but it never felt right. I kept wanting to say more. To explain the why behind the what. To share the messy middle parts, not just the before-and-after photos.

It took me way too long to realize I don't have to create content the way everyone else does. I don't need to dance in my sports bra or film myself doing hip thrusts for views. I can just... write. Like people used to do. Remember that?

Why fitness, though?

Let me paint you a picture of my former self. Never played sports as a kid. Always picked last in PE. The kind of person who got winded walking up a flight of stairs. I was sedentary and honestly kind of proud of it, like being "not a gym person" was part of my personality.

Around 25, I decided maybe I should try this whole exercise thing. You know, for health or whatever. But my approach was all wrong. I saw working out as punishment for eating. I wanted to be as skinny as possible because that's what we were all taught to want, right? No pain, no gain. Sweat is fat crying. All that toxic nonsense.

For years, I'd start and stop, start and stop. Join a gym in January, ghost it by February. Try a new diet, fall off the wagon two weeks later. I never built anything sustainable because I was doing it for all the wrong reasons.

Then, five years ago, everything changed. I discovered strength training. Real strength training, not just waving around 2-kg pink dumbbells. And it completely transformed not just my body, but my entire relationship with fitness and health.

Training taught me things I never expected to learn in a gym. Discipline. Consistency. The satisfaction of adding weight to the bar. The confidence that comes from being physically strong. It made me realize that movement and proper nutrition aren't optional extras if you want to live a long, healthy life. They're the foundation.

Since then, I've become completely fascinated by the science of getting stronger, building muscle, and aging well. I've spent countless hours researching, learning, experimenting on myself. And one thing keeps hitting me: so many women are missing out on this because we've been fed lies about what exercise should be.

We've been told lifting weights will make us bulky (it won't). We've been told to eat 1200 calories and do endless cardio (please don't). We've been told our goal should be to shrink ourselves, to take up less space.

But what nobody tells you is that muscle is the solution to (almost) everything. It supports your metabolism, protects your bones, keeps you functional as you age. Building muscle isn't about becoming some massive bodybuilder. It's about being able to carry your groceries, play with your kids (or future grandkids), and get off the toilet when you're 80.

Why Substack? Why now?

I chose this platform for a few reasons, all of which basically boil down to: I'm an introvert who likes to write.

First, I'm a private person. I want to share ideas and experiences, not broadcast my entire life. I don't want to film every workout or photograph every meal. I want to sit down with my coffee, think about what actually matters, and write something useful. Something real.

Second, social media is exhausting. The algorithm games, the trending audio, the pressure to post constantly. It's all so... much. I want to have actual conversations, not just collect likes. I want to build a community of women who are interested in getting stronger, feeling better, and maybe learning something along the way.

Third, I need space to really dig into topics. On Instagram, you get a caption and some slides. On TikTok, you get a 30 seconds video. Here, I can take my time. I can explain the science, share the struggles, celebrate the wins. I can be nuanced and honest and maybe even a little bit funny.

What's coming next

In the coming weeks and months, I'll be sharing everything. My complete fitness journey (the good, the bad, and the embarrassing). The nutrition strategies that actually work. The mindset shifts that make the difference. The tools and resources that have helped me stay consistent for five years and counting.

I'm not yet a certified trainer (working on it) or nutritionist, but everything I share is based on science-backed principles and real-world experience. I'm not here to sell you supplements or promise you'll lose 20 pounds in 20 days. I'm here to share what actually works for building a strong, healthy body that will serve you well for decades.

This newsletter is for you if you're tired of quick fixes and ready for real, sustainable change. If you've ever felt like fitness "isn't for people like you." If you want to get stronger but don't know where to start. If you're ready to stop punishing your body and start taking care of it.

So, welcome to my little corner of the internet. Grab a protein shake (or a coffee, or whatever), get comfortable, and let's figure this out together.

Because if I can go from couch potato to deadlifting my bodyweight at 42, trust me, anything is possible.

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